Love & the Iliacus Muscle
One thing I have been doing a lot of since moving up here -- aside from serial calling everyone I know who doesn't have a day job... and even then, calling my friends at work I don't want to wait to talk to until they get off work.. -- is going to the gym. Since Finn was born, I've made little time for this. When I was working full-time, I didn't have much time or energy left over at the end of the night, too. It's a terrible excuse, but it's the truth. And when you have lots of extra time on your hands as I do now and you're looking to meet new people... and spend just an hour alone without your one-year-old, fitness classes are a place to start.
I immediately locate where the instructor is... and then pick the furthest location from her for my place in the class. But it never works. They always find me. This is leading me to believe that much of the coordination I thought I had is actually non-existent. They walk over, correct me if my awkward bending and writhing is too much to bear, smile encouragingly at my beet-red, sweaty face. The yoga teacher even went so far as to try to correct a stretch I was in, and sent me into a fit of giggles when she squeezed my iliacus muscle a little too much (Yeah, Google that one!). But seriously! -- it tickles. Just so you know, everyone else she corrected in that stretch giggled, too.
Going hand-in-hand with all this exercising is the decision to love my body for what it is: curvy, jiggly in some bits, thick in others. But it's mine, and for the first time in 29 years, I have decided that it is what it is. I've had a baby, I love bread and cheese, I'm German for crying out loud. I know I'm not what some would consider "fat," but I'm also not thin. And that's okay with me. Loving my body means taking care of it and feeling pride in the results, no matter how small. I am a normal woman, I have mastered the art of properly diverting people's attention from my small badonkadonk by wearing large and distracting earrings and my man digs me. At the end of the day, it all boils down to feeling a sense of calm and happiness. Hell, my muscles and tendons are too sore to worry!
What are you going to do to love your body more?
I used to wear large and distracting earrings to divert people's attention away from my large badonkadonk! Now I go to Zumba classes which is a lot of booty and hip shaking and it's made me LOVE the curves I have, so now I can wear my large earrings just because they are awesome :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I have totally had my iliacus muscle repositioned during a stretch and it was not conducive to establishing controlled breathing and a calming environment!
Exercise is so empowering! It's helped me to love, not just the shape of my body, but also to feel stronger and more self-assured inside, too. I think it's fabulous that you're using this time to do something SO good for you. Think of the alternative: Bon Bons and soap operas. Wowza! You've always inspired me to feel good in my own skin, and I love you extra much for that!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you that you are learning to love your body now and not put yourself through the years of self-loathing that I have. I often look at my legs and think how HUGE they are and in the next thought try to remember that these legs (genetically of course) carried my great great grandmother from New York to Nebraska... on foot! And then I'm grateful for my strong though not terribly graceful body.
ReplyDeleteThough I still wish, every winter, that my calves were small enough to wear tall zippered boots.
So, what am I doing to love my body more at 42 years old then I did at 22? Other than healthy eating and staying away from pharmaceuticals? I guess I'm just now learning to love myself for all my good and bad. We're all human after all!